I had read online that Davison Design will accept and follow up on Any invention idea submission…No matter how ridiculous.
So, I decided to to put this theory to the test…(mostly for my own amusement, I must admit.)
And here be the outcome:
Idea Submision Form-(this is exactly how I filled it out.)
Idea Name: Red Rubber Butt
Idea description: A big Red Rubber Butt that user can strap onto their bottom, allowing user to bounce around on his/her hiney.
What inspired you to come up with this idea? : Well…I was just sitting around meditating and contemplating belly button lint when this idea came to me. (was also listening to The Beatles White album but I don’t blame the Beatles…or credit them for this.)
After filling this form out and sending it back to Davison, would you believe that I got a call from them three days later? (me neither-But I did.)
And here’s how that call went:
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Davison Rep. : “Hello, is this Maggie?”
Me: “yep”
Davison Rep. : “Well, Maggie, this is (let’s leave the poor guys name outta this). I’m a consultant with Davison idea invention. We recently received your idea submission form for the product you call the …uh…Red Rubber Butt. We’d like to discuss this idea with you and talk about how we can help you to get this product to consumers.”
Me : “Really? So you guys are Really interested in making the Red Rubber Butt?”
Davison Rep. : “Well, Ma’am that’s why we called.”
Me : “You can’t be serious…(giggle)”
Davison Rep. : “I take my job very seriously, Ma’am. Now let’s see…from your description…sounds like the Red Rubber Butt is some kind of toy? But I could also picture some practical uses for this product.”
Me : “NO!”
Davison Rep. : “Yes; For instance…toddlers. Small children who are just beginning to walk often fall and I think this product could help to protect them.”
Me : No! (laughing)
Davison Rep. : “…Or elderly people. My Grandmother has Alzheimers…”
Me : “So sorry to hear that.”
Davison Rep. : “Thank you…anyway, as i pictured your product , I could see it being used by elderly folks, such as my Grandmother, to protect them when they fall.”
Me : (laughing hysterically at the picture of Granny wearing a Big Red Rubber Butt)
Davison Rep : “Ma’am…”
Me : “You did not…You did not think that a Big Red Rubber Butt strapped onto an elderly person was a good idea! (more laughing)”
Davison Rep. : “Ma’am. Do you know someone with Alzheimers?”
Me : “No I don’t. But it is a terrible disease.”
Davison Rep. : “Yes it is and I don’t find it funny.”
Me : “Oh I don’t find Alzheimers funny either. I’m just thinking that the Last thing someone suffering from Alzheimers needs is to endure the humiliation of having some asshole strap a huge Red Rubber Butt on them!’ (more laughing)”
Davison Rep. : “Ma’am, I really think you aren’t taking this conversation seriously.”
Me : “And I can’t believe You are.”
Davison Rep : (silence)
Me : “You know, I did some research online and it seems that your company has had many complaints.”
Davison Rep. : “Well, ma’am- I’m sure that you can look up Any company online and find complaints.”
Me : “Oh, that’s probably true. Didn’t Davison lose a big lawsuit though?”
Davison Rep. : “Yes…”
Me : “Tell you what, could I just research a bit more and call you back?”
Davison Rep. : “No.”
Me : “You can’t give me a number to call you back?”
Davison Rep. : “No. I can not.”
Me : “Why not? I’d like to investigate a bit further before I invest any money in Davison and the Red Rubber Butt.”
Davison Rep. : “Have I asked you for any money? I called to talk to you about your idea. Have I asked you for a penny?”
Me : “No, not yet…but that Is how you guys work here, right? You’ll eventually need me to invest money into the production of this thing, right?”
Davison Rep. : “Well…I can see that you are just too busy doing research on Davison to talk about your product idea.”
Me : “Sorry, but it is wise to do some research before investing. Now, if you can give me a number I’ll call you back.”
Davison Rep. : “No.”
Me : “Well…that’s unfortunte.”
Davison Rep. : “Have a good day ma’am!…(click)”
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Well…there went my chance to make Millions selling The Red Rubber Butt to elderly folk across the world.
Sigh…see how i sabotage myself.
I blew it….damn!
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Here’s Carrolls answer:”Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter’s Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz: `Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is never put with the wrong end in front!’ This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle, as originally invented, had no answer at all.”
